Auckland Pirate’s Fairy Hunt Continues

by Pirate Matty on September 21, 2013

Okay so good old pirate matty is back in action okay? I decided since I really am committing to new adventures for Pirate Matty is was time to show my face on this blog, so that my long time supporters know that Pirate Matty again stirs, restless for adventure.

The days are too long and boring as long as adventure awaits beyond the horizon. We must go in search, form a band of brave buccaneers who thirst to venture forth and face any foe!

I still am looking for fairies. Why would I do such a thing? Do you think me so foolish that I am in love with a stupid dumb fairy? No, because fairies are magic, like I explained before, and sometimes it’s just easier to take a short cut and find somebody who can help you out. Who else better to help us out than a magical fairy?

I need motivation, okay? It’s not easy to get up and seek adventure by sailing over the horizon, that’s why most people don’t do it, because it’s scary and you never know what might be happening that is not known of. It’s all very well to sail about with a bunch of smelly bloodthirsty.

So which fairies have we got in our sights? Katharine, Rose and Claire?

Well I don’t know about those other two, they’re sophisticated ladies but I don’t think they know any magic and stapling a pair of wings on them wouldn’t prove otherwise, but claire is a proper fairy and she likes to dance.

I must meet with her at once. Whatever will I say?

Well I need a wish. And I need some treasure. And some birthday cake would be yummy too. And lots of lollies. And chocolate. And toys. And a rollercoaster.

Look I’ve got a plan okay?

First we become famous on youtube with funny videos. I had lots of ideas you know for all the funny videos we could do I might just keep coming up with new ones!

I was even thinking we could film in the cafe having our business meeting regarding my strategies to increase the annual intake of birthday cake and chocolate and lollies. Explaining how I need to get famous on youtube, then I should have enough ideas for what to do so I can go around schools and towns and whatever and they will pay me to turn up and do my show with a fairy. And once we’re good we can go all sorts of places.

But we need to have videos on youtube where we’re funny first.

What’s funny? Well I have to find the fairies, and then I have to catch them so they can grant me wishes – but then fairies are magical and dangerous and they might do weird tricks and cast weird spells.

But fairies can help me with everything I need to know and do so I can set off on an auckland pirate adventure! With a ship! And a pirate crew! An all star cast of characters, because we want to come to your auckland pirate birthday and eat all your cake! That’s what Auckland children’s entertainers out for a buck because we’re hungry and have no treasure do.

So my fairies will help me building my ship and sailing off to recruit my pirate crew and avail myself of the unique services of auckland pirate matty,

So there will probably be sharks, and we have to pull together as a crew to show team work, but we also need to find the treasure, and for that we need a pirate’s treasure map – so there’s all your favourite bits of a pirate story to be worked in there. But how does the pirate story end?

Any good story needs a great ending. Maybe that’s just something I will have to think about.


Did I post up my video I did on youtube of me how I’m an awesome pirate and I’m looking for fairies? Oh no? Well here we go then . . .

Ahoy it’s pirate matty!

I just wanted to update all the fairies and let them know that I have done a special video just for them!

I have had tonnes of fairies writing to me, but I want to meet them and find out if they’ve really got the magic!

I totally improvised and did this in 1 take because I really wanted to give it a natural feel of exactly how I would interact with the kids.

Can you imagine I did this pirate video in 1 take?

I had this rough script, I read it once, and then just went and did the video in one take!

Pirate Matty stumbles into shot:

“Ssssh! You’ve got to be very quiet! Have you seen any fairies around here by any chance? What’s that you say? Know you not that the pirate matty is a expert master of fairy catching?

Look at my net!

I sniff them out with my fairy smelling nose!

I know where they are hiding . . .

I hear their little fairies voices giggling like little schoolgirls . . .

I just know I’m going to catch a fairy in this garden today like . . . gotcha!

(pirate matty ends up with the net over his head)

and do you know what?

When I catch my very own fairy, I’m going to make her grant me a wish! That’s how it works! That’s right, fairies are magical, and mysterious and they concoct all manner of sorcerous trickery conjuring your wildest desire from thin air!

what would you wish for?

I would wish for it to be my birthday every day so I could eat birthday cake every day and eat so much cake every day and instead of pirate matty they’ll call me pirate fatty and I’ll come and sit on your head!

But only because I really like Birthday cake, and I really like birthdays!

Have you got a birthday coming up?

Have you got fairies in your garden? Can I come and have a look? Just a smalll look! To check! I mean, fairies can be very dangerous! They’ll trick you! They will! You have to watch your back!

Just let me know okay – email pirate matty at or call 027 684 8250 for pirate matty’s birthday special – $175 for an hour anywhere in auckland!!!


A recording of the disney pirates of the carribean show which I can um steal, no i mean “draw inspiration” from on my auckland pirate adventures!!!

You can see how this captain sparrow character involves the audience will be interesting to get some cool dynamics going on there but yknow theyre not that much fun, they’re just actors, I reckon I could totally get some exciting for real pirate stuff going on!

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